Wednesday, August 10, 2011

On Letting Go

So, as I mentioned yesterday, some big changes are on the horizon for me. I seem to have found a sublet (fingers crossed!), I found an excellent gym option in my new neighborhood and with the money I'll be saving I think I can pay off another credit card. Score!

Yet, with all the positive changes come some bittersweet ones. One thing I failed to consider is that not everyone in your life will react to the coming changes the way you want them to. Hopefully most of your friends and family will be supportive and excited for the new life changes you are making. But I'm sure each of us has one person in their life that feels threatened by change and reacts in a less than positive manner. In my case, I am a dealing with a friend who is choosing to make some negative comments in a very public forum about the upcoming changes in my life as well as the lives of other friends. It's a difficult situation. This friend is struggling with her own issues and I truly believe that her comments are coming from a place of fear and insecurity rather than genuine ill-will.

But, at what point do you let go? I made a decision a long time ago that there will be no more room in my life for negative influences. Sure, some of them you can't avoid. There will always be a cranky person on the Metro who will be rude or an annoying coworker you can't avoid. Those are the people you just need to deal with. But I spent so much of my twenties being scared and insecure and negative. I finally decided that my thirties would be a time of change (sense a them yet?); a time when I would stop concentrating on hating myself and my body and all the bad decisions I made and focus on being strong, healthy, beautiful and happy. It has not been easy at all. Every day is a struggle and my biggest enemy is myself. And really, when you spend so much time battling yourself so you need to battle someone else, too?

So I decided to let go. It's hard and I feel terribly guilty. But I also know that if I am going to be my strongest, healthiest, happiest self I can't let negative influences hold me back. I truly hope that my friend can find her way back to her happy self again. When that happens I will be ready to rekindle a wonderful friendship. But until that day I will be focusing on making my life the best that it can be.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Wow. The past two weeks have brought a lot of changes. For starters, the boy and I have decided to move in together. Furthermore, we are going to live in his condo that has been on the market since January but no one wants to buy. So, in the span of one conversation I went from renter to homeowner. That also means new neighborhood, new gym, new running routes and new routines. Oh, and I still have that 10 K to train for in the middle of all this and I haven't even started. Sigh. It's going to be a crazy 6 weeks.